Monday, October 20, 2008

Mother Warriors

TO YOU, my fellow “Mother Warriors”

(my new favorite word) !!!

I am generously privileged and blessed to be on the receiving end of a daily devotion that one of my favorite “un-conditional friends” husband sends out each day to his family/friends. Today he shared a quote within his story that ROCKED my world/heart so intensely that I just had to pass it on.

Let me say first that I love and admire you for your Commitment and Dedication in taking on the roll of Parenting with Seriousness/Dedication/Passion. It is one of the things that I love about you and connects me most to you.

Sadly for some; parenting can be their biggest nightmare, I regret that; but for those who are whole heartedly invested/unconditionally committed/consistent with plan/and present at all times……..Parenting can be the most AMAZING experience one could hope for.

MOTHER: Webster says – (A female parent)
PARENTING: Webster says - (the process of raising and educating a child from birth until adulthood)
WARRIOR: Webster says – (someone engaged in warfare)

To me the title of “Mother Warrior” means so much more than that. It is something very special and something that no one can really explain with the perfect words. It is a Passion that burns deep within ones heart and soul that produces an unwavering commitment to purpose. When I think of trying to put it into words here are a few things that come to mind:

~Someone who is deeply devoted to all aspects of parenting, the joy, pain and sacrifice
~Someone who’s love is unselfish, endless and unconditional
~Someone who is committed to helping their children discover and pursue their hopes and dreams with no personal agenda or time line
~ Someone who is present and supportive through every obstacle that comes along
~Someone who is patient and forgiving
~Someone who cares enough to give and take feedback
~Someone who has a life long commitment to selflessness
~Someone who’s love never falters, even through the heart breaking times
~Someone who focuses on giving more than receiving
~Someone who not only listens but hears
~Someone who’s love and commitment is always present and dependable
~Someone who’s commitment to parenting has no end

For those of you who know me well have no doubt heard me say this more than onceJ….that if you do it right…..all the small precious first accomplishments of growth that fill us with joy, and make us want to have more….. (the first smile/tooth/steps/birthday/kindergarten/team sport/recital/crush//school dance…etc). All pale in comparison to the JOY experienced when you have a GREAT relationship with an ADULT child that INSPIRES you! It is a greater blessing than I could personally ask for and fills my life to overflowing daily.

My greatest goal as a parent was to help my kids navigate through all the speed bumps of childhood/adolescence/adulthood with skills/tools that will leave them with the least amount of permanent mental/emotional/physical damage/injury and to facilitate their journey as they ultimately discover their innate giftedness and passion for their life. To have the strength of character to honor that giftedness and to be unconditionally supportive of that process as they put forth the effort to find the Career/Path of their Dreams. Almost one down, and two to go for me!

I was gifted this analogy from Scott Jones who was gifted it from Cory Withrow, so I hope it will be a double blessing to you:

“The road to success is not straight
There is a curve called Failure,
a loop called Confusion,
speed bumps called Friends,
red lights called Enemies,
caution lights called Family.
You will have flats called Jobs.
But, if you have a spare called Determination,
an engine called Perseverance,
insurance called Faith,
a driver called JESUS,
you will make it to a place called Success.”

I believe that Concerned parents become Powerful and Confident Parents! Imagine if everyone parented their children with only this analogy?? WoW! That would be so powerful!

I love and respect you for your commitment and dedication to be a “Mother Warrior” for your children. This is a tough world to navigate through and we are in challenging times. We need to equip our children with good and effective Amour to set them up for their opportunity to successfully navigate their way to their own success in this world.

Love you Tons
Kathi Proud “Mother Warrior”

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Subject: From the mouth of babes

No scripture today.

Just a lesson from my son.

If you didn't hear his team won the PAC 10 Championships, they think with the most points every scored in this event. They qualified 9 guys out of 10 for the NCAA national championships next week. Levi qualified, his only loss coming to the #1 ranked guy in the nation. His coaches and teammates have done an excellent job in getting this team ready for their peak performance at the end of the season. When they got back to campus they immediately resumed their training schedule. They arose at 5:30 am for their regular morning workout. They pushed sleds and lifted weights just like they have done all year. After their best performance in the history of their school, they went right back to work in preparation for the next level of competition.

The lesson: Levi usually calls after a practice to give me an update, my daily wrestling fix. He describes practice and gives me an evaluation of his performance. We talk about what technique he worked on; who taught him; who he drilled with; and who he went live with that day. Some days are better than others. College wrestling is an amazing grind on your body, mind, and emotions. They have been training 2-3 times per day since August. Well he had a tough go with Adam Hall yesterday. Adam simply got the best of him early on in their live matches.
Any time that you are getting beat, you notice the fatigue more; you think the room is hotter than normal; you naturally start to hope the clock would speed up and the whistle would blow to end the session. Some days in the training room a 3 minute live match can go for 5-10 minutes, easy if the coach gets a bit distracted watching a good battle. They had 8 such matches to battle through. Adam Hall was ranked in the top 15 in the nation earlier this season. He was the #1 ranked wrestler in the nation coming out of high school and wrestles at 149. Needless to say he is tough. So is Levi and every other guy in their line up for that matter.

Part of learning to be a champion is learning to get back up after a tough match or a tough day in the room. Levi bounced back today with a dominating performance in his room. He has always been good at getting back up after a tough lesson.

I needed that today in my professional life. After my masters degree, I pretty much had retired myself from anything more than the occasional clinic or collegiate educational seminar. I really didn't think that in my 40's, I would be tackling one of the most challenging college courses in my career. Actually nine of them. Well, today I failed an exam (received less than 75%). I just got back to the office, feeling rather mad at myself for not dedicating enough study-time, when Levi called with his update.

God spoke -- get back up and prepare. Prepare in such a way that you win. Prepare in such a way, that a single defeat will not knock you down for good. Losses can be humbling experiences.

However, it is usually in the midst of our greatest challenges in our life, that we find out the most about who we are.

It is also the point at which we get to make the critical decision of whether or not we will get back up to WIN.

Most importantly, given that we are going to get back up, is what we are going to change so that we don't get knocked down again.

Lord, thanks for the lesson. Thanks for talking to me through Levi. Help me to get back up to perform well. Help me to learn from my mistakes and allow me to work in such a way that I become stronger because of them. You work in wonderful ways.

Amen. Scott

Good Morning Scott,

WOW! This was a sweet gift to my heart today. You Scott Jones the man, the father and the friend have such an amazing heart. YOUR passion in life and your pursuit of excellence in everything is truly inspiring, to me this is what “LIVING” is all about, your journey on this planet blesses my life.

Congrats to Levi what an amazing experience for him. Paisley and Mead High School Dance team just came home from Nationals where they competed 4 dances and they brought home a 4th, a 2nd and two 1st Place Champion titles, plus earned a #1 National Ranking for Dance Drill. They are still on a high, great experience to work so hard and be rewarded, so your story was close to my heart today.

For me personally I have been struggling with motivation to gear my MIND up for my 2nd trip to Ironman, the first time was fun and new and this 2nd time seems more difficult to get my mind in the right place, knowing the overwhelming mountain of training mentally and physically that lie ahead of me. The 1st time my fears were would I even be able to finish, this 2nd time my fears are will I do better on not, concerns about other peoples expectations of me and not wanting to let them or myself down by not getting a better time or not having a good day, your message was heard loud and clear….

Kathi Get back up and prepare….prepare to win….prepare in a way so as not to knock myself downJ…and in the midst of the great challenge I need to look at my 2nd trip to the starting line in a positive way…. So today …I will reframe the journey for my self ….rather than be un-motivated my fear or overwhelm…. I will embrace the OPPORTUNITY so that in the midst of this great challenge in my life…I will have opportunity to learn more about myself….I will choose to WIN….what every that means in this journey.

Thanks for the blessing

Kathi - you are really amazing.

Finishing is winning.

Training is winning.

To me, watching you get in the water is amazing and a huge win.

The example you set for others is a big win.

You have already WON in so many ways.

Enjoy! Scott

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Kona Trip

13 of my Favorite Things from this Kona Hawaii Trip

1) Quality Time with Kevin, talking, shopping, sight seeing, people watching, snorkeling, checking out different beaches and resorts and sharing sunsets
2) Quality Time and good conversations with Kim! Quality Time, catching up, and sharing a good long belly laugh with Jessi! Sharing some good times and getting to know Martin/Vicki & Mark/Daryce better!

3) Participating on the Ironman Fundraiser "Underpants Run"! Having Tri Fusion make the effort to pull together matching Team Apparel, of course in Red and Black!

And meeting Andrew Baldwin "The Bachelor, an Officer & a Gentlemen"..... GO NAVY!!!

And Cheering on Andy as he was between Roger and Ben for most of the race. Roger ended up beating him by 1 minute at the finish! 4) Watching the Navy Seals enter the Ironman Swim Course with an amazing Patriotic Statemtent. Sky Diving from Coast Guard Airplanes to enter the water, it was chilling!

5) Snorkeling with my own Snorkel gear that fit.....

Seeing more than 40 kinds of fish.....

Lots of Sea Turtles.....

An Eel.....

And a Sting Ray!

6) Having 3 good experiences swimming the Ironman Swim Course

7) Being able to Text back and forth with Adam, Noah and Paisley to keep in close touch with their activities and the events of their days!
8) Running up and down Alii Drive during the pre race week with all the Elite/Pro World Champion Triathletes, it was an honor and inspiration at the same time!

9) Sharing Dinners with the Group different nights and enjoying different cuisines and venues and hearing about all the different things people did during the day. Leni and Jessa did an over the top meal putting on a full on Luau! It was absolutely Scrumptious!

10) Being part of the “Hard Core” Cheer Squad for Roger, Ben and Jeff!!!

11) Waiting at the finish line to Cheer for Jeff, soaking up all the inspiration of of the finish shoot with the accomplishment shared by all the finishers and having the opportunity to share some meaningful conversations with Jeff.

12) Meeting “Pat the Body Walker” enjoying a session myself, bringing several others to enjoy it and being taught and unofficially Certified by Pat to be a “Barefoot Body Walker”

13) Sharing our vacations last meal with Leni enjoying the ocean VIEW seating, palm trees, sunset, awesome conversation and amazing seafood meal

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Test Anxiety

Running Test Score


F… for execution
+… for effort
Last Thursday was an important training day. I was scheduled to do a Steady State Running Test!

This is not just something you spontaneously run out the door to do. There is a lot of planning that goes into preparing for an athletic test. It is really no different than an academic test as far as preparation.

I was purposeful about what I ate and drank for 72 hours before, mindful of getting proper sleep. Focused on having a good attitude about it and mental enthusiasm to rise to the challenge and perform well.

My test would require 55 minutes of actual running time, so I scheduled to fit it in between clients.

The Test was a Tempo Time Trial, 3 miles around a track with my HR steady at 162-163.

I was concentrating all morning on the timing of my nutrition, hydration and supplementation.

My plan was going along smoothly, its 30 minutes before I head out the door, and I take my Delta-E and Energy-ease!

I return a few e-mails, and then head up to get my running clothes on.

Go downstairs and get my heart rate monitor on, pick the right sunglasses for the weather, and put my iPod on, fast forward to an up beat inspiring song, get my shoes on and head out the door to Kick Ass on my test. I wind my way through my neighborhood on my way up to Mead High School Track, Go Panthers!

It is a beautiful day, I have a smile on my face, I feel strong and ready to take on a test and perform well. I weave through the neighborhood to get in my required 15 minute warm up, I work hard to get my HR up to the required 162 to start the test. I run up into Mead High School, across the parking lot and I am feeling amped and ready to tackle this test. As I get closer to the road that goes up to the track I hear myself say out loud…

“You have got to be kidding me”! I am shocked and heartsick that there is a PE class of about 50 boys out on the track.

I have 100 thoughts going through my head at lightening speed:

-this can’t be happening, I look again

-but I am so perfectly prepared

-maybe I should I just go up and do the test anyway

-oh my gosh how embarrassing

-I do not have the guts

-well I will just do a hard effort run then

-I wonder if the timing of this test is critical for my Coach for my training goals

-I will just do it tomorrow

-wait, I do not have time tomorrow

-where is another track

-do I have time to run to Northwood

-will I get back in time to pick up Paisley from school as agreed

-what if I run all the way to Northwood and there is a PE class on the track

I decide because I am to psyched and prepared for this test that I am going to chance running to Northwood.

I get to Northwood and am thrilled that there isn’t a PE class on the track, there is a lawn maintenance guy on his riding lawn mower on the grass in the middle of the track, I decide to try to act like he is not there and press on to do the test.

I get on the track, work on getting my HR at 162-163 again. I once again pick a good tune on my iPod, I find a starting line on the track and begin my watch for my 12 lap test.

I am feeling really good, the temperature is perfect 63 degrees and sunny. I am cruising around, knocking off the laps one at a time, feeling strong, breathing well, getting into a rhythm, slightly challenged to keep my HR steady with only a 2 beat variation.

I am concentrating so much on HR and counting my laps that the time flies by. Before I know it there is only 2 laps to go, I feel challenged to maintain self control to keep my HR fixed at 162-163, when what I really want to do is sprint to the finish line!

But I am feeling great and quite pleased with myself that I stayed determined to get this test done, even with the initial obstacle!

As I round the far end of the track to the straight away to my 2nd to the last lap, I hear myself say “you have got to be fricking kidding me”!

I look towards the school and like a swarm of bees here comes this huge mass of kids all running out from the school towards the track. My heart starts racing and I am thinking

-oh my gosh
-I only have 2 laps to go

-this is not happening

-oh yes it is

-how frustrating

-after all this am I going to have to do this test over again

-but I am so close to being done

-why couldn’t they have come out 4 minutes later

-can I please just finish my last 2 laps

-do I dare keep running

-I did not want to fail this test

-I don’t want to have to start all over again

-but I am so close to having this test in the bag

-the kids are staring at me

-oh my gosh this is so embarrassing
-my HR starts going up

-I look at my watch and my HR is 166

-I glance at the kids, they seem to be organizing something on the grass inside the track, moving cones, picking teams, some are putting on blue mesh penny’s

-I am trying like crazy to get my HR down but it is up to 167

-I wonder if I can finish this lap and then run out the gate and just figure my last lap by time

-but what if I am off and that screws up my whole test

-geez I am so close

-now here come the PE teachers

-they look like they are walking straight at me

-My HR is 168

-I pull my earphone out to get ready to plead with the PE teacher to finish this last lap

-I start to say, “I………)

-the PE teacher interrupts me and says, “No problem, you are fine”

-I am relieved that he is not mad

-however I am very uncomfortable and feeling very out of place as 100+ kids are all around me

-I cannot wait to get my last lap done and get out of there

-I am sweating a lot and I wonder if it is effort or anxiety

-I finish, lap my watch to record my time for the Tempo Test

-I could not get out of there fast enough.

I head out of the track area and away from Northwood. Get back out onto Farwell Road that will take be back home. I am running, enjoying the weather, good tunes, high on the fact that I completed my Damn test and hoping I will make it back home in time to pick up Paisley at 2:30pm as planned!

About ½ mile from home, I had to stop at the Stop Light Intersection on 395 and as I was waiting form the “walk” sign to illuminate, I had a moment of Mental Clarity!

Oh Gosh, I think my warm down was suppose to be done in Zone 1, which for me is a HR of 145 and realizing that I has been running at a pretty good cruising speed with a HR of 155-158! Oops! Well I’ll pay for that later this week in my training I am sure!

As I was getting close to home and thinking of sending my test data to my coach, I was literally laughing out loud! Thinking the Poor guy, Roger probably had no idea what he was getting into when he said yes to coaching me.

He is so technical…I am so not

He is so accurate….I am so not

He is so data driven…I am so not

He is so talented with technology…I am so not

Knowing his sense of Humor and his appreciation of funny stories, I will try to wrap my not so technical or accurate, test data in humor in hopes that I will get some extra credit points for effort. If not I will have to offer to do some special favors!

You all are so warped, I mean like help him grade papers or mow his lawn! Tee Hee

Fortunately for me my Coach gave me a thumbs up for a passing grade! Whew!!!!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

"Coming Out"

It has been really hard for me to make myself blog lately. Partly because my little triangle of the world has been so over full that I haven’t had the time.

Partly because it takes inspiration and energy for me to get my words and thoughts out in an organized and meaningful manner.

And partly because I have been living with and struggling with an internal demon every since my Ironman in June.
I hope you will sense the seriousness of this for me but also the fact that I am choosing to have a sense of humor in some aspects of it as well. I am a Frontal Right and my brain needs to find fun somewhere in this process of attempting to overcome a Fear!
You might think that once a person has obtained the status of Ironman, that they have mastered the sport or that they have arrived at a level of fitness that allows them to experience nothing but smooth sailing from here on out……

Think again …
I am going to be vulnerable here
and expose my Ironman insides in an attempt to begin to move forward and grow through a big obstacle in my in my path on my journey to my second Ironman.
1) My name is Kathi Best and I have serious PTS from my Ironman swim
2) I guess my issues regarding swimming are greater than I thought; I am tired of keeping the seriousness of my fears inside, putting on "The Face" and struggling in silence.
I have an intense fear of anything that denies me the opportunity to breathe, so being under water is not easy for me period, and then being under water in a combative environment intensifies the fear for me!

Confession Time:
-I have not been in the pool since 3 weeks before Ironman

-I have done limited open water swims

-I did 3 races after Ironman and I had such severe anxiety about the swim, I hated the fact that I was signed up, I was mad, edgy, moody and short fused.
I dreaded the race so much that, well pretty much I was a “Bitch” the week before each race.

-I have skipped so many of my swim workouts

-I dread getting in the water so much I get a stomach ache

-I have come up with the lamest excuses not to go swim
-I have avoided any type of water speed work, skipped all my scheduled swim tests, or any part of a workout that makes me be out of breath or hypoxic in the water

3) I haven’t really said much to anyone, not seriously anyway, and I haven’t communicated the intensity to my husband nor have I told my coach and I haven’t wanted to post because I want to be authentic and it has been hard for me to be authentic with my words because to do so I would have to talk about:

-how fearful I am

-how I feel like a failure in this area

-how frustrated I am that I am here again
-how I do not like to be a wuss, but I feel like one

-how I hate to be a complainer, but if I talk about it I feel like one
-how I know no one likes to hear negative, but if I talk about it, it sounds negative

-how I fear people who have heard the story and are sick of it

-how I fear what people are thinking, good grief just get over it

-how so many were inspired by all I overcame and now I feel like I have backslid

-how none of this is inspiring or uplifting

4) But wait I am an Ironman, so I cannot be a wuss
5) I am an Ironman, they don’t complain
6) I am an Ironman, I can push through anything

7) I am an Ironman, I am physically and mentally tough
8) And all of those statements are true… but guess what?

9) Even an Ironman can have issues, I am proof

10) Even an Ironman struggles with motivation, I am proof

11) Even an Ironman needs to be re-inspired, I am proof

12) Even an Ironman has things to learn and issues to overcome

13) Mine is the swim

Yes… I survived my 1st Ironman
Yes… I had a great race
Yes… It was an overall life transforming experience for me
Yes… I completed it and actually finished 1 hour sooner that what I had hoped for
But… I was traumatized
The swim was such an intense, fear/panic stricken experience for me, if they had given me my Ironman Medal after surviving that swim I would have felt like an Ironman! The pictures taken of me coming out of the swim tell that story better than I can tell it in words! This is going to be another transforming journey to the starting line
For this time, I know what lies ahead
A lot of Physical, Mental and Emotional Work
Regardless, it is going to be a lot of HARD work.

To be honest…..
I am scared !

Fear of failure?

Fear of HARD work?

Fear of Mental/Emotional Work?

The “New Love” Phase of Triathlon is over for me
Now the “Tough Love” Phase begins
I have a lot of work to do before next year

Ironman Coeur d’ Alene 2008…..
Bring it on…
I think?
I want to be...
An Ironman