UPS & DOWNS

Emotional Roller Coaster

Oh my goodness, the last 72 hours has been an emotional roller coaster! I have gone through so many up’s and downs that I think I have made myself dizzy! I hope you don’t mind if I share some of these emotional gyrations with you:

UP: Completing the longest training session of my life last Friday, and feeling great. I successfully did a 6-hour bike ride followed by a 45 minute run. I drove to Coeur d’ Alene with Jessi and rode 2 loops of the hilly loop of the Ironman Course and then did the run on the bike path along the lake by Higgins Point! I had a great day, I felt strong and I could clearly see myself crossing the finish line of my Ironman race on June 24th.

UP: Saturday I did a 3-hour bike ride with a friend, Nathan, and Kevin and I was the pace horse for the whole ride, I felt great and like I was a strong cyclist. We followed that by driving to Medical Lake to do a 1 ½ mile Open Water Swim! I felt strong and finished before both of the guys. It was a big confidence booster and great reward for all my hours of hard training this past year!

UP: I did an 18-mile run alone Sunday morning. Again I felt strong and good until about the 2 ½ hour point and then the last ½ hour I was feeling a few sore places, but I still had a strong finish!

UP: I went to bed Sunday night feeling at the top of my game, thinking I believe I can so do this Ironman thing!

Down: I woke up Monday morning with a kink in my neck and sharp pain between my shoulder blades. I tried to tough out the day but couldn’t and I finally asked Kevin to help me out with some massage! Kevin worked on me for about 45 minutes and it helped a lot, but I was still glad that I had the day off from training.

UP/Down: I woke up Tuesday morning to an e-mail from my coach with a 1-page letter of encouragement and challenge regarding being diligent about making the sacrifices necessary to complete the next four weeks of training and the reality that my race day was soon approaching. Just reading his letter welled up so many emotions inside me……… and then I lost it as I read his words,“Kathi I am sure that a year ago when you signed up for this race you thought it would never get here, well……….it’s here!” Oh my gosh, the flood gates opened as I had this HUGE WAVE of MIXED EMOTIONS flow in and throughout my body, and I sat at my computer and cried for the next 10 minutes! Then I printed off my next four weeks of training and saw that at the end of the last week's schedule it was written: “Sunday….Ironman Coeur d’ Alene!” Oh my gosh I started crying again.

UP/Down: My first client on Tuesday came ½ hour later and as I greeted her at the door, she looked at me and said: “Are you o.k.?” and I started crying all over again! Yikes…….I cried off and on all day Tuesday!!!

Down: I was still hurting from my kink, it was so bad all day Tuesday it was hard for me to massage my clients. I was getting stabbing pains between my shoulders. It was hurting bad enough I was having a hard time smiling and being cheerful! Even though it cost me a lot of energy I still choose JOY!

I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it – Maya Angelou

UP: My amazing Chiropractor Dr. Julia Miller, “with her fabulous gift of love and compassion for her patients” actually made a “house call” and came to my house on her day off to adjust me. She was able to work her magic get my 2 ribs back in place and decrease my pain by 50% and I was able to finish my client day with much greater ease!

UP: I had a client that had to cancel an appointment in the middle of the day so I took the opportunity to get my swim in between clients!

Down: I didn’t finish my day until 7pm and I still had a 2-hour bike ride to get in. Do I suck it up or do I ditch out on the training opportunity? I am tired, I am hurting, I am hungry and I won’t make it back before dark?????

UP: Kevin offers to ride with me, even though we have not had dinner and we will be finishing after dark! I was so tired that night; I showered and went right to bed after our ride!

Down: Between my shoulder blades was hurting so bad when I was in the “aero position” on my bike that we cut our ride short.

Down: As exhausted as I was I was awake ½ the night because I am sure that on our bike ride last night I jarred my ribs out again. So I was having stabbing and throbbing pain all night!

Down: I woke up this morning early to do a really hard speed interval run and again was in tears, thinking how am I going to do this? My neck, shoulders and between my shoulder blades were throbbing and aching and stabbing pain every time I turned my head from side to side!

UP: Kevin is so in tune with needs and emotions in these last days leading up to my Ironman Race, he could see the pain in my eyes before I said anything. He lovingly said come on, you can do your run later, let’s go downstairs to the massage table and let me see if I can provide you with some relief. Kevin's healing hands worked their magic for 45 minutes! Again my pain was reduced by 50%! What a gift.

Down: I am worried about how I would even be able to endure a 7 ½ hour bike ride for my Ironman Race with this stabbing pain between my shoulders. I am digging deep to remember my dream and clarify my vision!

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us – Ralph Waldo Emerson

UP: I choose to take the mental “high road” and be thankful that I am having this issue now and not 3 or 4 weeks from now and choose to have confidence in Dr. Miller and Kevin, knowing that they will do all in their knowledge, skill, power and ability to get me pain free as soon as possible.

UP: I Got a surprise phone call today…Wednesday, from Jessi offering to do my bike ride with me. It was a beautiful sunny day and my pain was much better, just felt the stabbing pain when I turned my head from left to right, but not too bad when I was looking straight forward or in the “aero position” on my bike!

UP: Went to Dr. Miller’s office for a 5:30pm appointment and she had done some research specifically for my issues and worked some “new magic” on me and I had a significant reduction in pain before I left her office! Yea! An aligned spine is a happy spine and a happy spine allows my muscles perform at a higher level and gives them all the blood flow they need to rise up to the intense physical demand that I am putting them through!

Down: Did my run tonight, but I just didn’t have the drive, push or energy to push myself to reach the high Hear Rate Zones that I was assigned! I just didn’t have what it takes to push my self to that point of discomfort.

UP: I did not cry over this run, rather I chose to give myself credit for getting my butt out there even though my heart and body was not into it!

Trying is failing with honor –
You do or you don’t, there is no try

UP: I am going to bed with much less pain and hopeful of a good night sleep!

UP: Tomorrow brings with it the opportunity for me to accomplish yet my longest training session ever. My training schedule calls for a 6 hour & 30 minute bike ride followed by a 1hour & 15 minute run!

We become happier, much happier, when we realize life is an opportunity rather than an obligation – Mary Augustine

UP: My emotions are feeling much more stable today, I did not cry today! That in and of itself is a Victory over the last 3 days!

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Things are looking more up than down..............