OZ SWIM SURVIVAL CAMP

If my swim today did not prepare me for my 1st Ironman swim nothing will. I swim at the North side OZ Fitness (use to be 24 Hour Fitness) and anyone who actually lap swims at OZ has their own collection of frustrating stories and nicknames for those who frustrate us over and over again! I am no different over the past 2 years I have collected quite a few of my own stories. But Oh My Gosh, today takes the cake by far!

It might not be a fair post because unless you have swam there this may not amaze you, but today was a record for me as far as the number of frustrating and annoying things I have ever had in 1 single swim session!

Thirteen things (no kidding) that I experienced or survived at OZ Fitness Pool today!

1) THE WATER WAS FREEZING: the employee that was doing maintenance got side tracked and over filled it and the hot tub as well, and the hot tub was actually colder than the pool and was overflowing into the pool

2) I HAD TO SHARE A LANE WITH A WATER BUFFALO: that is a code word amongst lap swimmers for very large people who take up a whole lane to just float

3) I FISHED OUT 2 BANDAIDS: over the course of my 1 hour and 30 minute swim I swam in all 3 lanes and found Band-Aids at the bottom of 2 of them

4) I SHARED A LANE WITH A TALKER: The pool is no different than the rest of the gym, some people go to actually workout and some go to socialize

5) I GOT ATTACKED BY A GIANT LOOGIE: no kidding, I have heard people tease about them but this one was very real and very giant and it was in the end corner where I was turning, it took me 5 minutes to catch it and scoop it out, I was gagging and so grossed out that it was very hard for me to mentally continue

6) I SHARED A LANE WITH A BOXER: I have never seen this guy before, probably about 26ish, medium build, red hair, had a swim cap and goggles on but literally looked and sounded like he was boxing the water with every stroke, first he took a left hook then a right hook, I was literally afraid he was going to hit me, he was exhausting to watch

7) I WAS IN ONE LANE THAT HAD AN UNDERTOW: for a while there was a guy in my lane who did the weirdest version of breast stroke/frog stroke in a really fast rhythmic motion that actually pushed me off balance as I swam by him

8) I HAD TO TEACH POOL EDUQUITE 101 TWICE: Oh my gosh! This is so one of my peeves!! Do not, I repeat do not get into my lane when I am swimming unless you ask me. I think it is so rude and so not safe to just jump into a lane when someone is lap swimming. If you are using proper swim technique for freestyle you are looking straight down at the bottom of the pool, there is no way to see someone until you are at the end doing a turn! ARRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!! I ran into 2 different people, one old and one who didn’t speak my language!

9) HAD TO DISCIPLINE FOREIGN ROPE ACROBATS: Again, people a pool is for swimming. Two Vietnamese ladies came into the pool, I am guessing to just chat because they were hanging on the rope, floating over the rope, swimming under the rope, sitting on the rope, kicking their feet under the rope. After about the 4th time of having to dodge one of their body parts in my lane I went into disciplinary mode. And of course they did not speak my language either so I resorted to hand motions and pointing fingers (no I didn’t but I wanted to J ) and after the 2nd disciplinary session they finally got my point ROAAAARRRRRR!

10) HAD A GUY RACING ME: This is always funny to me and it makes me realize how far I have come. I had a younger guy in a Speedo get into my lane. He watched me for about 200 meters, faking like he was adjusting his goggles, but I knew he was checking me out to see my speed and form. He tried not to start off the wall at the same time as me because he knew he would be beat to the other end by a girl, and his ego obviously couldn’t handle that. Every time I would catch up to him he would surge to keep up and then stop at the wall like he was done with his set, but I knew it was because he was anaerobic and that his lungs were about to explode! I wanted to say one of Adam’s favorite lines “Hey buddy you can lie to me, but don’t lie to yourself” but I chose to be nice instead

11) GOT HIT ON BY AN OLD GUY: I am sure this is probably the same “old” guy that keeps hitting on my friend Kacey. He must have a leg fetish because he kept talking about how amazing my legs were. After he floated his 100 meters staring at me under water he got out and then sat on a bench next to the pool and watched me until I finished, ick!

12) WATCHED A PORNO FLICK: Again….Oh my gosh! There was a young couple in the first lane that for about ½ hour were literally full-on-making-out! I was like dude and dudette, get a room pleeeeeeeeeeease! I cannot believe that no one said anything to them, at one point one of the trainers came through giving a tour to some new people and they just kept on going at it. I mean I have seen people be playful in the pool but this was way beyond playful! Yikes!

13) I HAD MY OWN LANE: Unbelievable after all that I actually had my own lane for about the last 10 minutes of my swim. I was thinking wow, this is really nice. I can actually concentrate on my technique with out all the distractions and frustrations, sad to say but that is a rare experience swimming at OZ

NOW LOOKING AT THIS OPTIMISTICALLY…………..
I AM THINKING A MASS START………………
WITH 2000+ PEOPLE …………………..
FOR A 2.4 MILE OPEN WATER SWIM…………
IN A COLD LAKE
SHOULD BE A PIECE OF CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!