Kona Trip

13 of my Favorite Things from this Kona Hawaii Trip

1) Quality Time with Kevin, talking, shopping, sight seeing, people watching, snorkeling, checking out different beaches and resorts and sharing sunsets

2) Quality Time and good conversations with Kim! Quality Time, catching up, and sharing a good long belly laugh with Jessi! Sharing some good times and getting to know Martin/Vicki & Mark/Daryce better!

3) Participating on the Ironman Fundraiser "Underpants Run"! Having Tri Fusion make the effort to pull together matching Team Apparel, of course in Red and Black!

And meeting Andrew Baldwin "The Bachelor, an Officer & a Gentlemen"..... GO NAVY!!!

And Cheering on Andy as he was between Roger and Ben for most of the race. Roger ended up beating him by 1 minute at the finish! 4) Watching the Navy Seals enter the Ironman Swim Course with an amazing Patriotic Statemtent. Sky Diving from Coast Guard Airplanes to enter the water, it was chilling!

5) Snorkeling with my own Snorkel gear that fit.....

Seeing more than 40 kinds of fish.....

Lots of Sea Turtles.....

An Eel.....

And a Sting Ray!

6) Having 3 good experiences swimming the Ironman Swim Course

7) Being able to Text back and forth with Adam, Noah and Paisley to keep in close touch with their activities and the events of their days!
8) Running up and down Alii Drive during the pre race week with all the Elite/Pro World Champion Triathletes, it was an honor and inspiration at the same time!

9) Sharing Dinners with the Group different nights and enjoying different cuisines and venues and hearing about all the different things people did during the day. Leni and Jessa did an over the top meal putting on a full on Luau! It was absolutely Scrumptious!

10) Being part of the “Hard Core” Cheer Squad for Roger, Ben and Jeff!!!

11) Waiting at the finish line to Cheer for Jeff, soaking up all the inspiration of of the finish shoot with the accomplishment shared by all the finishers and having the opportunity to share some meaningful conversations with Jeff.

12) Meeting “Pat the Body Walker” enjoying a session myself, bringing several others to enjoy it and being taught and unofficially Certified by Pat to be a “Barefoot Body Walker”

13) Sharing our vacations last meal with Leni enjoying the ocean VIEW seating, palm trees, sunset, awesome conversation and amazing seafood meal

Test Anxiety

Running Test Score

F+

F… for execution
+… for effort

Last Thursday was an important training day. I was scheduled to do a Steady State Running Test!

This is not just something you spontaneously run out the door to do. There is a lot of planning that goes into preparing for an athletic test. It is really no different than an academic test as far as preparation.

I was purposeful about what I ate and drank for 72 hours before, mindful of getting proper sleep. Focused on having a good attitude about it and mental enthusiasm to rise to the challenge and perform well.

My test would require 55 minutes of actual running time, so I scheduled to fit it in between clients.

The Test was a Tempo Time Trial, 3 miles around a track with my HR steady at 162-163.

I was concentrating all morning on the timing of my nutrition, hydration and supplementation.

My plan was going along smoothly, its 30 minutes before I head out the door, and I take my Delta-E and Energy-ease!

I return a few e-mails, and then head up to get my running clothes on.

Go downstairs and get my heart rate monitor on, pick the right sunglasses for the weather, and put my iPod on, fast forward to an up beat inspiring song, get my shoes on and head out the door to Kick Ass on my test. I wind my way through my neighborhood on my way up to Mead High School Track, Go Panthers!

It is a beautiful day, I have a smile on my face, I feel strong and ready to take on a test and perform well. I weave through the neighborhood to get in my required 15 minute warm up, I work hard to get my HR up to the required 162 to start the test. I run up into Mead High School, across the parking lot and I am feeling amped and ready to tackle this test. As I get closer to the road that goes up to the track I hear myself say out loud…

“You have got to be kidding me”! I am shocked and heartsick that there is a PE class of about 50 boys out on the track.

I have 100 thoughts going through my head at lightening speed:

-this can’t be happening, I look again

-but I am so perfectly prepared

-maybe I should I just go up and do the test anyway

-oh my gosh how embarrassing

-I do not have the guts

-well I will just do a hard effort run then

-I wonder if the timing of this test is critical for my Coach for my training goals

-I will just do it tomorrow

-wait, I do not have time tomorrow

-where is another track

-do I have time to run to Northwood

-will I get back in time to pick up Paisley from school as agreed

-what if I run all the way to Northwood and there is a PE class on the track

I decide because I am to psyched and prepared for this test that I am going to chance running to Northwood.


I get to Northwood and am thrilled that there isn’t a PE class on the track, there is a lawn maintenance guy on his riding lawn mower on the grass in the middle of the track, I decide to try to act like he is not there and press on to do the test.

I get on the track, work on getting my HR at 162-163 again. I once again pick a good tune on my iPod, I find a starting line on the track and begin my watch for my 12 lap test.

I am feeling really good, the temperature is perfect 63 degrees and sunny. I am cruising around, knocking off the laps one at a time, feeling strong, breathing well, getting into a rhythm, slightly challenged to keep my HR steady with only a 2 beat variation.

I am concentrating so much on HR and counting my laps that the time flies by. Before I know it there is only 2 laps to go, I feel challenged to maintain self control to keep my HR fixed at 162-163, when what I really want to do is sprint to the finish line!

But I am feeling great and quite pleased with myself that I stayed determined to get this test done, even with the initial obstacle!

As I round the far end of the track to the straight away to my 2nd to the last lap, I hear myself say “you have got to be fricking kidding me”!

I look towards the school and like a swarm of bees here comes this huge mass of kids all running out from the school towards the track. My heart starts racing and I am thinking

-oh my gosh
-I only have 2 laps to go

-this is not happening

-oh yes it is

-how frustrating

-after all this am I going to have to do this test over again

-but I am so close to being done

-why couldn’t they have come out 4 minutes later

-can I please just finish my last 2 laps

-do I dare keep running

-I did not want to fail this test

-I don’t want to have to start all over again

-but I am so close to having this test in the bag

-the kids are staring at me

-oh my gosh this is so embarrassing
-my HR starts going up

-I look at my watch and my HR is 166

-I glance at the kids, they seem to be organizing something on the grass inside the track, moving cones, picking teams, some are putting on blue mesh penny’s

-I am trying like crazy to get my HR down but it is up to 167

-I wonder if I can finish this lap and then run out the gate and just figure my last lap by time

-but what if I am off and that screws up my whole test

-geez I am so close

-now here come the PE teachers

-they look like they are walking straight at me

-My HR is 168

-I pull my earphone out to get ready to plead with the PE teacher to finish this last lap

-I start to say, “I………)

-the PE teacher interrupts me and says, “No problem, you are fine”

-I am relieved that he is not mad

-however I am very uncomfortable and feeling very out of place as 100+ kids are all around me

-I cannot wait to get my last lap done and get out of there

-I am sweating a lot and I wonder if it is effort or anxiety

-I finish, lap my watch to record my time for the Tempo Test

-I could not get out of there fast enough.

I head out of the track area and away from Northwood. Get back out onto Farwell Road that will take be back home. I am running, enjoying the weather, good tunes, high on the fact that I completed my Damn test and hoping I will make it back home in time to pick up Paisley at 2:30pm as planned!

About ½ mile from home, I had to stop at the Stop Light Intersection on 395 and as I was waiting form the “walk” sign to illuminate, I had a moment of Mental Clarity!

Oh Gosh, I think my warm down was suppose to be done in Zone 1, which for me is a HR of 145 and realizing that I has been running at a pretty good cruising speed with a HR of 155-158! Oops! Well I’ll pay for that later this week in my training I am sure!

As I was getting close to home and thinking of sending my test data to my coach, I was literally laughing out loud! Thinking the Poor guy, Roger probably had no idea what he was getting into when he said yes to coaching me.

He is so technical…I am so not

He is so accurate….I am so not

He is so data driven…I am so not

He is so talented with technology…I am so not

Knowing his sense of Humor and his appreciation of funny stories, I will try to wrap my not so technical or accurate, test data in humor in hopes that I will get some extra credit points for effort. If not I will have to offer to do some special favors!

You all are so warped, I mean like help him grade papers or mow his lawn! Tee Hee

Fortunately for me my Coach gave me a thumbs up for a passing grade! Whew!!!!

"Coming Out"

It has been really hard for me to make myself blog lately. Partly because my little triangle of the world has been so over full that I haven’t had the time.

Partly because it takes inspiration and energy for me to get my words and thoughts out in an organized and meaningful manner.

And partly because I have been living with and struggling with an internal demon every since my Ironman in June.

I hope you will sense the seriousness of this for me but also the fact that I am choosing to have a sense of humor in some aspects of it as well. I am a Frontal Right and my brain needs to find fun somewhere in this process of attempting to overcome a Fear!

You might think that once a person has obtained the status of Ironman, that they have mastered the sport or that they have arrived at a level of fitness that allows them to experience nothing but smooth sailing from here on out……

Think again …

I am going to be vulnerable here

and expose my Ironman insides in an attempt to begin to move forward and grow through a big obstacle in my in my path on my journey to my second Ironman.

1) My name is Kathi Best and I have serious PTS from my Ironman swim
2) I guess my issues regarding swimming are greater than I thought; I am tired of keeping the seriousness of my fears inside, putting on "The Face" and struggling in silence.

I have an intense fear of anything that denies me the opportunity to breathe, so being under water is not easy for me period, and then being under water in a combative environment intensifies the fear for me!

Confession Time:

-I have not been in the pool since 3 weeks before Ironman

-I have done limited open water swims

-I did 3 races after Ironman and I had such severe anxiety about the swim, I hated the fact that I was signed up, I was mad, edgy, moody and short fused.

I dreaded the race so much that, well pretty much I was a “Bitch” the week before each race.

-I have skipped so many of my swim workouts

-I dread getting in the water so much I get a stomach ache

-I have come up with the lamest excuses not to go swim

-I have avoided any type of water speed work, skipped all my scheduled swim tests, or any part of a workout that makes me be out of breath or hypoxic in the water

3) I haven’t really said much to anyone, not seriously anyway, and I haven’t communicated the intensity to my husband nor have I told my coach and I haven’t wanted to post because I want to be authentic and it has been hard for me to be authentic with my words because to do so I would have to talk about:

-how fearful I am

-how I feel like a failure in this area

-how frustrated I am that I am here again

-how I do not like to be a wuss, but I feel like one

-how I hate to be a complainer, but if I talk about it I feel like one

-how I know no one likes to hear negative, but if I talk about it, it sounds negative

-how I fear people who have heard the story and are sick of it

-how I fear what people are thinking, good grief just get over it

-how so many were inspired by all I overcame and now I feel like I have backslid

-how none of this is inspiring or uplifting

4) But wait I am an Ironman, so I cannot be a wuss

5) I am an Ironman, they don’t complain

6) I am an Ironman, I can push through anything

7) I am an Ironman, I am physically and mentally tough
8) And all of those statements are true… but guess what?

9) Even an Ironman can have issues, I am proof

10) Even an Ironman struggles with motivation, I am proof

11) Even an Ironman needs to be re-inspired, I am proof

12) Even an Ironman has things to learn and issues to overcome

13) Mine is the swim

Yes… I survived my 1st Ironman
Yes… I had a great race
Yes… It was an overall life transforming experience for me
Yes… I completed it and actually finished 1 hour sooner that what I had hoped for
But… I was traumatized
The swim was such an intense, fear/panic stricken experience for me, if they had given me my Ironman Medal after surviving that swim I would have felt like an Ironman! The pictures taken of me coming out of the swim tell that story better than I can tell it in words! This is going to be another transforming journey to the starting line
For this time, I know what lies ahead
A lot of Physical, Mental and Emotional Work
Regardless, it is going to be a lot of HARD work.

To be honest…..
I am scared !

Fear of failure?
Maybe….

Fear of HARD work?
Possibly….

Fear of Mental/Emotional Work?
Probably

The “New Love” Phase of Triathlon is over for me
Now the “Tough Love” Phase begins
I have a lot of work to do before next year

Ironman Coeur d’ Alene 2008…..
Bring it on…
I think?

I want to be...

An Ironman